Mary Ellen

541 Days Road, Kingston, ON K7M3R8, CA

The Reclamation Project: The Value of Living Life at the Helm

Stories of life in an institution and the voices that closed them

Mary Ellen

When I was one year old, I went to live in a group home. I lived there for 13 years, until something happened at the home and the police showed up with CAS and took me out of the house. Without any previous visits, I was taken to live at an institution. I lived there for 2 years and I couldn’t wait until I was 16 and could leave. It was a horrible place to live. It is still difficult for me to talk about without crying, but I think it is important to share my setory.

I remember walking into the building. The door closed and locked behind me, and I thought I would never get out. It felt like a jail house.

I was taken to the children’s ward and the staff showed me around. I had my own bedroom where I could keep my own possessions. I shared the washroom with all of the other children on the ward. There was a TV room and a sitting room. There was a canteen and a church upstairs. We would go to church every Sunday.

I was the oldest child on the ward. Most of the kids were much younger. I was put in charge of looking after one small child. I would change their diaper and give them a shower because the staff wouldn’t do it. After lunch, the smaller kids would always have a nap, and I would help the staff fold the laundry. The food at the institution was terrible. I didn’t like any of it, especially the Chicken A La King – it was awful!

I never had a say in what I wanted to do, or given the opportunity to have a choice in anything. I was only allowed to go outside when the entire group went out. This depended on whether or not the staff were in a good mood, which wasn’t often. Sometimes a nice staff would take me upstairs to spend my money at the canteen but there was very little interaction with staff otherwise.

I left the institution every day to go to high school. The staff would pack my lunch in a paper bag and I would eat whatever they gave me. I never had the opportunity to join any after school clubs or programs because I had to go back to the institution as soon as the classes were over.

There was nothing good about living at the institution. Nothing there made me happy. The doors were locked and the windows had bars. I felt like I had been locked up. One time there was a lock-down in the institute. On another ward, someone’s father had come in with a shot gun and was threatening to shoot. I was very afraid.

One day, all of my belongings were packed up and I was taken to my new home. Mom had answered an ad she saw from an organization looking for family homes. Dad was friends with someone who worked there and they contacted the organization to say they were interested. They got a call saying that they had someone in mind who they would like to introduce to Mom and Dad. The very next day we showed up with all of my belongings. They told Mom and Dad that they knew they would like me! I’m glad they did!

For the first year that I lived with my new parents, they would take me back to the institution for all of my medical and dental appointments. Every time we would go there, I would cry for fear of being left there again. I would ask if they were going to leave me there and Mom would have to reassure me every time that I would be going home with them. They talked to our family home counselor and got permission to take me to their own doctor and dentist. Whenever we saw our counselor, I always thought I was in trouble and would have to go back.

I am so grateful that my mom and dad took me in to live with them. I am now 54 years old and have been happy ever since I moved in. I finished high school and then worked at ARC Industries until it closed. I worked at Kwik Shred for many years.

My dad died 30 years ago. Mom and I like to do a lot of traveling. I have been to my mother’s home in the Philippines 5 times. We have also been to Australia, to California and Disneyland, to Colorado and New York City, and we are now talking about taking a trip to visit the East Coast.

I love animals. I play with them and like to take care of them. We recently got two cats, Goldy and Angel. One is mine and one is my mother’s. They are lots of fun but they do wake me up early. They want their food and they meow if they don’t get it. Mom takes me and our 2 cats and 2 dogs for a ride in our van almost every day. We all like going for these rides. We both spoil our animals. We like buying things for them and giving them special treats.

When I started living with my parents, they had two dogs and two cats. We treated them like family. I took them for walks and fed them every day. Being with these animals made me happy.

I now like gardening. In the summer, my mom and I get up early. We start work in the garden. I am responsible for watering the plants. When my mom is not looking, I play with the water. My mom is a good weeder. After she has done the weeding, I pick all the weeds up and put them in the compost.

I get ready to garden by putting on my old house coat, my hat, and sunscreen. I do this so the sun does not burn my skin. The animals come with us and like running around the back yard. During our garden breaks, we have food and drinks and I play with the animals.

Every summer, we go fishing, sometimes at the end of every day. We catch bass and sunfish. One time I caught a really big bass. We like to go to Kingston Mills. We have picnics there and talk with other fishermen.

At the end of our street, there are many nice neighbors. Mark and Kate have 2 girls. I really like saying hello to the girls. Some of the other neighbors have dogs and I like Jasper, a big, friendly yellow dog. I know all the neighbors’ names and their pet’s names too.

One neighbor is good friends with my mom and I. I like going over to her house to chat and have tea. We also like to bake all kinds of things. She has trouble walking and going down stairs so I help her bring in her groceries. Sometimes we go shopping together. She pushes her walker and I push the grocery cart. I also like to help some of my other neighbors too.

I now have many relatives. Darren. Lisa and Sofia are now my cousins. They live in Colorado and they visit us and we visit them. In California, I have more relatives, Rick and Karen and their kids. They are cousins too. Matt is not married and lives in Colorado as well. Mark lives in Chicago with his wife and kids. So I get to travel to different parts of the states.

I also have relatives in Kingston. Uncle Julio and Aunt Connie, my mom’s sister. They have 4 daughters. We see them a lot.

There are other relatives in Kingston. These relatives like to get together on holidays. And they all are good cooks. When we get together, there is plenty of food. My uncle makes my favorite dish, a special kind of macaroni and cheese.

I have a really good life.